Today the sun came out for the first time in what feels like forever. It’s been gloom city here for weeks. Day after day I wake up to a gray sky. But this morning I woke to sun coming through the blinds and the sound of birds outside my window. I walked out to the backyard to feel the sun on my face. The sky was mostly blue with an occasional white cloud here and there. There were a few contrails still lingering from planes that had flown by.
My first thought – why are people even flying right now?
My second thought – I really miss traveling. I miss normal life.
I could feel myself mourning the past and feeling anxiety about the present. Images of passengers wearing masks filled my mind. I started feeling a bit disoriented like I might have a panic attack coming on so I changed my thoughts.
A plane came out from behind a cloud and as I looked at it, I imagined what I used to when I thought of flying…
I pictured mask-less faces
Families on their way to vacation
Little kids holding an iPad playing a game or watching a cartoon
Couples holding hands sneaking a kiss when they think no one is looking
Business people with their laptops out dressed in uncomfortable clothes
Jet setters hiding their faces behind a pair of overpriced sunglasses and sipping champagne
For a moment, everything was normal again. I felt at ease. I could breathe deeper. My heart rate slowed. Colors appeared brighter. The sound of the birds became clearer. I let myself stay in that moment. Even though it wasn’t real. Even though my reality was that of living in a pandemic. I allowed myself to temporarily feel life as it used to be.
I know we can’t live in the past. I know we can’t live in a pretend reality. But if we can find a way to quiet our minds and feel some sort of connection to the life we used to know – the life that felt so familiar to us – I think that’s a beautiful thing. We can give ourselves a bit of a break. We can go there in meditation, prayer, or in the stillness we find in nature.
It’s important that we find our peace. In this chaotic time we’re all living in, find what works for you to help get you through. We’ve endured so much this past year. Our mental health has taken quite a hit. Little moments like what I just described might sound simple (or even silly) to some, but for me they are what’s helping to keep me sane.
Find what works for you. Find your peace.